It probably feels like you and your partner seem to drift further apart every day. Books, retreats, conferences, even couples counseling – you’ve tried it all. Yet you are so different, and sometimes it seems impossible that anyone could help you find one another again. You may even feel like you can hardly talk anymore because it always seems to end in an argument. Just the thought of marriage therapy probably feels overwhelming. But here’s the good news:
In couples therapy, I consistently help folks like you rediscover what it means to have a vibrant and fulfilling relationship. The question is, how?
For starters, you didn’t develop in a vacuum. You learned most of what you know about relationships from others – parents, siblings, and friends. And the truth is, not everything you learned is good or helpful. In fact, many of the ways we try to manage relationship distress is quite harmful. Perhaps intense emotions feel unsafe to you, so you retreat into your cave until the storm passes. Or perhaps you have no trouble at all with intensity, but it feels like your partner is completely unavailable to you, and there’s no way to reach them. My work consists of helping you develop the intimacy and closeness necessary to remain connected, no matter how explosive the fight may be.
“Well, that all sounds good,” you may be thinking, “but why should we do marriage therapy with you?” Good question!
To start with, I practice Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is an extensively researched, empirically validated form of couples counseling. The latest research available shows EFT to be about 85% effective at helping couples achieve a more intimate, fulfilling relationship. It’s not a guarantee, but it’s as close as we get in the couples counseling field. And if I may so, 85% is pretty good odds!
Additionally, I’ve been doing therapy for about a decade. Along the way I’ve learned a few things. I wouldn’t call them shortcuts, exactly, because that implies I’ve somehow streamlined the couples counseling process. Truth be told, I haven’t. No matter how skilled your therapist, this process is incredibly hard! But it does mean my work isn’t just based on what books or trainings told me I should do, but rather on what I’ve found works in the real world. It’s much easier for me to tailor my approach to the couple now than it was 5 or 6 years ago.
So I encourage you to read more about me, my fees, the books I recommend, whatever it takes for you to get a sense of who I am. And whenever you’re ready, reach out to me and set up an appointment. I can’t wait to start this journey with you!